It has been awhile...

There is so much to caught you all up on!

The Holidays were a wonderful time of year for Dan and I. I don't know about you but Christmas is a time full of magic and wonder. At least that is how I felt as a child. This year... I was way more stressed then I should have been. But it gave me a chance to reflect on things. We need to be better at scheduling time for just us. We haven't really been good at that lately. It seems we are always on the go. Between wedding planning, family stuff,making sure we see our friends plus having a case of not feeling well. There has been no time for us. I long for him to tell me to put on a pretty dress and take me out for an evening to a musical at the Victoria Theatre. Or buy us tickets for a comedy club and we go and have a good laugh. Just us. Together... No wedding talk. No what do we have to get done this weekend. Just us-ness. I know it is my turn to plan the date night but sometimes, a girl just wants to be surprised. So does anyone have some suggestions on a pretty inexpensive dates for the two of us? I would love to completely blow his mind on a date or two because he deserves it! Because ummm I think he is pretty great!

So the first Boot Camp is done. (Has been for almost two full weeks) but we have decided to sign up for the next one! Can you believe that one? I am signed up for round two. In fact there is one right up to the day before the wedding. How great would that be. I would totally be in shape for my Honeymoon. Which since we have a lot planned it would be great to be in fighting shape so I can do anything we want to do. But I'm sure that you all are wondering how I did with my goals. If you have forgotten what they are let me remind you!

1. Lose 8-10 pounds.

2. Jog one lap

3. Not be in dead last.

Well I did lose 8 pounds. 4 inches around my waist, and 3 in my bust. Not bad for not curbing my food at all. yumm pizza... But I'm thinking that this time around I'm going to try and work on it. Look, I'm never going to be one of those salad girls. nibbing on lettuce while everyone one else chows down on pure yumminess. Jogging... I'm not at one lap yet. But I will be!!! I have been at least working on the jogging part of it. As far as dead last, well... see.... yeah I am still in dead last so I will keep that in my goals and work on it. It will come. I have at least this other boot camp to work on it.

As far as wedding. We have gotten a ton done. A ton!! Please picture me doing a happy dance because I am. So we have the dress done. The maid of honour dresses done. We have basically have all the big stuff done except for invitations. I know that the last thing my mom aka the wedding coordinator would want to do the week before and after Christmas is wedding stuff but I'm beyond grateful that we are able to knock stuff off that silly list of mine. So I know am only 112 items over due rather then 115. Yay!
I hope everyone had an amazing holiday and looking forward to the new year.

In the Land of Giants.

In the Land of Giants... I live my life in the land of giants. I always have. Well not always. See I was suppose to be the tall girl in the family. My sister was suppose to short. That is not the way it turned out.
Truthfully, being short isn't usually something that I worry about. Nor do I even think of it as a negative. However, I was looking at the picture from our Engagement party and we had one of the Bridal Party. And I noticed something. I am really short compared to the rest of the party. And not just a little shorter. But way way shorter. What is a girl to do... I am not really a heels type of a person. I am more flats and sneakers type. So I think I am going to ask my bridesmaids not to wear high heels. I really don't want to be that type of Bride that decided every inch of her bridesmaids look. I even read one blog that talked about how many brides ask their bridesmaids to even wear the same makeup. How is that possible?? How can you ask your friends all to wear the same makeup if they don't have the same skin tone, hair coloring and didn't you ask them because they are beautiful in their own right. Not to mention you love them for their individuality.
So far, all I ask is that the dress doesn't give anyone a show when they sit down. Because there really is not need for that. Even if we were not doing a church wedding. So do you think I am becoming one of those Brides? I'm even cool with them wearing a different dress but in the same color so it more fits their own bodies. I am not one of those girls that want her bridesmaids to look ugly so she looks better. I want them to feel and look beautiful. There are going to be a ton of pictures and I don't want anyone to be like, "oooh I hate that I looked like that"
So is asking them not to wear high heels being one of those brides? I'm not sure... Guess the only thing is to ask them... Here's hoping it goes well!

"She Said What!" Week 4 of Boot Camp.

I can't believe what I am about to type. It is week four of Boot Camp. The very last week. Can you believe that? Seems like just yesterday that I started this program feeling like I was about to die. So the question remains... Do we, aka the wedding coordinator and I sign up for another round? There are some pretty obvious minuses in the Boot Camp Two column. 1. I have to get up at 5:00 in the morning. 2. I have to be working out at 5:30 am. Which I'm pretty sure is something that should be illegal for me. 3. I whine about it a lot. Hence, every blog about the work outs. 4. I can no longer stay up past 9 in fear of being too tired to work out in the morning. I'm sure my fiance would like his fiance to be able to hang out with him longer at night. 5. Did I mention how early it is. So what is in the plus column you ask... well I will tell you. I walked into Tommy Hilfiger outlet and tried on one of his sweaters. Now before you say, "big deal, Tommy makes plus size clothing". It wasn't plus size. It was in the "normal" size section. The one that I haven't been able to fit in since College. OK, it was a little snug but give me another week or two of working out and it will be no problem.
Now I might hate getting up in the morning or getting to the gym at 5:20 to be working out at 5:30. But I am loving the results. I might hate the effort that I have to put in to get them. But I love seeing what I can fit into.
I have even found myself wishing that Boot Camp would go one more week before taking a break to really avoid all the Christmas weight. Not to mention help with trying on wedding dresses on the 23rd. Since that is coming up and coming up fast!!! Can you believe those words have just come out of my mouth? Wishing for one more week. I must be going insane. I know that I will never be that girl who jumps out of bed looking forward to working out and doing cardio. It just isn't me. I am more the type of girl who jumps out of bed for food. Pizza or hamburgers will get me out of bed at any point during the day. However, I will be the girl who will stumble about looking for something to wear at 5:00am to go and work out because I want to keep seeing the results. So no matter what the scale says on Friday or what the measurements read. I can feel a difference and that is what is keeping me going. That and a slice of pizza!

Ooh Your Sweet Sweet Buttercream. How I love Thee. And Some Big Secrets!!

Today finishes yet another week of Boot Camp. And for those who are keeping up with me, that means there is one week left in my Boot Camp. Then just one week before going dress shopping. Gulp!

We have managed to check off another big item from that massive list of things to do before the wedding this week! Which I'm very excited about! We have picked our cake. So those in the running were Dorothy Lane Market, The Cakery, The Cake Ladies, and Ele Cakes. Here is what I thought of all. Dorothy Lane Market: It was very good, I would say it would be my second choice. Then there was The Cakery. Which was ok, but I wasn't exactly impressed with their customer service. And the icing was too sugary for me. And I'm an icing girl. Then there was the Cake Ladies in Springboro. She was the best so far. She did something that no one else thought to do. she showed us how to cut the cake. If you think about it, where do you learn that particular skill? I didn't have it before, and when she said this is something people tend to worry about. It dawned on me... Oh yes, I would worry about that. Such a good point. And her cake was amazing, moist and the icing wasn't too sugary. Not to mention she only does two wedding cakes per week. I like that so much more then feeling like my cake was just one of the many that was getting cranked out by the factory. So we went with her. I even canceled our appointment with Ele Cakes. There just wasn't the need for it. We have found our cake maker. Now for what we picked for the flavors and the look of the cake. I'm afraid that is all you will get. For the rest will be closely guarded secret.



Speaking of secret... I have a big one with our transportation... It is done but I'm not telling what it is... I hope to surprise everyone! How I love surpises!!!

Easy Concept in Theory....

It seems like an easy concept in theory... You meet this amazing, wonderful guy and you both live happily ever after. But then comes not the baby in the baby carriage but the wedding planning. I always thought that I would be that girl. The one that goes slightly crazy about planning. The it is my day and no one else's, girl. Which might I add... I turned out not to be. I would just like everyone to enjoy themselves.
But I have realized that with planning the wedding to the man of my dreams comes a whole bunch of stress. Not to mention, Everyone seems to have an opinion on everything. Things from what your ushers should wear to who should go dress shopping with you. Heck, even my dentist has an opinion on how fast or slow our dating time was. When did we start telling people things that we know will be rude and not caring about how it makes others feel? OK, I know that I am more sensitive then most but when even your dentist is talking with you about your length of dating to the man you are now engaged too. When is enough of someone else opinion too much? And when did we stop censoring ourselves in the process. Now, I am not talking about those people, who have had sons and daughters marry whom are close friends to the family. Those opinions are not only welcomed but truly valued. Since there are some things that I nor my wedding coordinator aka Mom, have a clue about. Still it is stressful to feel like you are constantly defend your wedding and the choices you have made.
But on top of all that, there is still the normal every day life stuff still happening. That no matter how tired you are from Boot Camp or moving your fiance into his/our new apartment, you are still suppose to function in the real world even if all you want is one day in bed just for your self. Or the stupid fights that you have over end tables and wanting a sofa to make this apartment a home.

But it isn't all about me. It is about us, our families, blood and other wise, getting together to be with us as we decided to take this huge step. And there is no do overs, this is it for us. So I best try to hold in the stress and the biting remarks and enjoy the planning process. Since the next time, I plan on planning a wedding would be for my daughter. I think that I just need some serious pillow time. Lets hope that works to correct my negative Nancy attitude.

It is finally Friday!

The beeping of my alarm tells me that it is Friday and a very unhappy cat looks at me out of the corner of his eyes as if to say. That is for you, crazy. I have to say, I got out of bed with a bit more energy this morning then I have in the past week. Maybe it was the fact that tomorrow and Sunday, I get two whole day of boot camp freedom. Or perhaps it is because, My Fiance is moving into a new apartment today! He is finally going to be about 15 mins away. Maybe, just maybe the amount of time that we both spend on I-75 will be cut down. We are currently spending at least 6 hours a week on the stretch of road from Alex Blvd to UD. Now, I understand that isn't a lot and people do much more to spend time with their love ones. But for me, I am so over it! But Today is moving day.

However, Boot Camp is first. As my mom and I walk into the gym, I noticed the cones. My heart sank, oh crap, cardio! The first half wasn't bad this morning, we did core stuff and arms. Along with some legs. Then 6:00 am hits and it is cardio time. To start off the cardio section, we were to jog around the cones 3 times. I made it a grand total of once before my legs felt like they were on pure fire. It was the worst pain I've been in a while. Plus, I just bought new shoes so this should not be happening. Brand new shoes. So instead of doing what everyone else is doing, I am pulled out like the bad kid in the class with the dunce hat on my head. I'm walking while everyone else is jogging. Or I am backwards lunging while everyone else is frontwards lunging then jogging back. I will be honest, it makes me so frustrated! I don't like feeling like I can't do what everyone else is doing. Finally, the morning was over as I whimpered my way to the car.

I get to go home for a quick shower and a bit of a nap before meet my fiance at his new apartment that we will be living in after our marriage ceremony. Then I remember something... We are going to be living on the 3rd floor. OMG, I am already in pain from Boot Camp now moving time. Not to mention, I am so tried. You know that type of tired where your mind and eyes are awake but your body is just exhausted? That is where I was this at this morning. Sad but true. I tried to help as much as possible but truthfully, I wasn't much of a help as more of being in a bad mood and tired. But we get both his car and my car unloaded. Which is only the first trip we will make but it is a good start.

Now tomorrow we get to do it all over again. But this time it will be all the big stuff. However, when I feel the need to complain, I need to remind myself. He will be a total of 15 mins away at the most. Not to mention we don't have to touch a highway! What a great thought to end this Friday! Now it is 10:22 right now and I'm in my pjs sitting in bed. I am sore from everything I have done today but again just 15 mins. I say that is a great ending to a really long day.

Where do you belong?

Where do you belong? As children, we are suppose to be assured that we belong with our family. We are either spitting images of our mothers or fathers. Or some where in the family tree you can look at look at Aunts and Uncles and see someone who looks like you.

Before working out today, I was talking to one of the women and I said something about my mom being there as well and she said, "where is your mom?" So I pointed to my mom, this beautifully tall red head woman who doesn't look a thing like me. As I watched the woman's eyes grow wide and next came the comment I have heard since I was able to point out my mom. "That is your mom? I would have never guessed that one." Then my mom made a comment about how my fiance's family must be wondering where I come from. I'm not sure if they do or not but it is true, I don't look like my family.

In truth, this is something that I have always struggled with. As a really young child, I thought that I looked like my father's side of the family til one day when we were leaving church and the priest stops my Nana, who proudly introduced us as her grandchildren. He turned to my siblings and said "you both look just like your grandparents" and then just looked at me while my Nana quickly said "oh she looks like her mother's side of the family." To which, I looked up at her with a shocked expression because I don't look like my mother's family. My mother's family has red hair with height and thin frames. Suddenly, I was just like my brother and sister used to say. I was adopted. The weirdo who doesn't look like anyone. No chance of an identity through the family that I had thought I looked the most like. When I was really young, I took pride out of that fact. I looked like my daddy. No one else did. I was special. But at that moment all those years ago, I realized I wasn't special, just an outcast in a family of look a likes. The next day, my Nana approached me and said, "I could tell you were hurt that the priest didn't think you looked like us. But you really don't. Not that it is a bad thing." Which just made me want to cry, at 7 years old it is tough to feel like you are being pushed away from the grandparents you identified with. Not to mention that once again my sibling were the desired ones. Everyone claimed them as looking like their side of the family. After the week with my father's parents, we went to my mother's parents for a week with them. Where, of course, I asked my grandma, "Grandma, who do you think I look like?" Now my grandmother, who was the most amazing grandmother, turned and sharply said. "You look like you are my grandchild. You belong with this family." Thank god for that grandmother. Somehow she always knew the right thing to say to be able to be a band aid over a wound.

And still all these years later, I still don't look like my family. But I was looking a photo of my fiance and I, and maybe it is all those love feelings, so I could be wrong. But I think we look like we belong together. Not in the creepy they look like they are twins way. But in the way that we fit. We just fit together. We will be a family where we both belong. We have chosen to be this new family and I refuse to let either one of us ever feel like we aren't wanted. If/when we are blessed with children and there is an odd duck who maybe doesn't have the same hair color or the same built as the rest, it will be because they are special. Not the outcast of the family.

The Engagement Party.

So we finally had our Engagement Party. It was amazing how many people came out to celebrate our engagement. Even my great friends from Ireland came for the party. How amazing is that? I was so happy to see them. It has been two years since I had been able to see them and obviously a lot has changed. My friends were meeting my fiance for the first time, and let me tell you their opinion on him was extremely important to me. I was hoping and crossing every finger and toe that I could that they would like him. I have known this particular friend for close to 8 years now. And he is protective over me and I over him as well. He is an amazing friend. It was so special to have him and his lovely girlfriend came all this way just to meet my fiance and to party away with me. That made me feel really good since most of my family was unable to come except for one aunt and uncle. Which can I just say thank god for them. We were so organized, I think my mom was totally relaxed because she and my aunt had everything planned out. Dip trays labeled and waiting for the food to be put inside. We were completely set and ready to go when our guest came! Mostly because of my aunt and uncle. I can't tell them in words how much I appreciate them being there.
Now I was so busy being a good hostess to my Irish friends that I didn't even have time to be nervous about my fiance's family coming over. Which turned out to be a good thing since his family came out in force. It was so great! I loved having them here and getting to know them better. I will admit that I totally turn shy in front of his family since I want them to like me. There are a couple of moments that I just have to share with you from the evening. The first moment was when his grandmother, whom I adore, turned to me and said that "He is such a great guy, he is so easy going." Which in turn I said to her, "I know, it is a great thing since I'm really not!" But in all seriously, she doesn't have to list his good qualities to me. I am fully aware that the man I'm about to marry is amazing. He is such a great guy who constantly gives of himself to make me happier. The second was the speech that my dad gave in honour of my fiance and I. Wishing us a happy and healthy marriage. I teared right up. It is amazing to think how much our lives are about to change. To grow for the better. I'm so excited for the adventure my fiance and I are about to go on. And the last moment is the best. My fiance sat down with with his Mother and brother along with his 3 sisters. They were all laughing at something and there was such love between them that it made me smile at them even though I was across the room but I wanted to reach out and kiss him. Just from the happiness of seeing him laugh with his family. That would be my favorite memory of the whole night.

Such a great night with a great people. We are very blessed.

Make you or Break you...

As I opened up my email from the man that is in charge of the Boot Camp the words "Make you or Break you" jumped off his email at me. What does he mean "make you or break you"? The first week of Boot Camp was hard enough for me that I felt like it was horrific. Now, He is telling me that instead of getting easier, it will only get harder. What is he thinking!

Now, that we are into our second day of Boot Camp this week, he wasn't lying to me. It is getting harder.. And I am struggling to maintain the positive attitude that I should have. It doesn't help that people like to talk to me. I don't know what it is about my face. I must just look really friendly. To tell you the truth at 5:30 in the morning, I am just trying to be pleasant. But when the instructors are happy and excited at 5:30 when they see us and that joy doesn't stop for the entire time, it makes me want to choke myself in moodiness and slink away to find a bed. At that point it doesn't even have to be my own bed. So as you can see I'm just not in the mood to be talked too or even encouraged. It is a struggle to just get through these last two days and all I want is to concentrate on me getting through the exercises they have for us not to spend time with a person who sunshine is flying out of them. Please, the sun isn't even up yet. I am just not ready for your happiness.

While I love that my stomach muscles are sore which means that they are getting a work out. I am ready for a nap!

Bridal BootCamp... Friday 15s.

Friday 15... You might be asking, "Deirdre, what is Friday 15s". Well, I will tell you. It is a new form of torture the Boot Camp has thought up. It was 5 push ups, 10 squats, and 15 leg lifts on each leg. So for those who can count better then I can. (Even though, I could do this one.) That is really 30 leg lifts. All during the dreaded fitness test. Umm hello, I am waking up at 5 in the morning Monday through Friday to have the instructor work me out. Clearly, I am well aware of my fitness level and it is BAD! I'm thinking that the instructor just wanted to make sure that I was really really happy that tomorrow is Saturday and there is no 5 am wake up call. However, I did figure one thing out this morning. No going out to eat the night before our work out. It was my fiance's birthday so we went to Doubleday's. And it sat in my stomach like a lead brick. So not a good feeling. But after the tortuous fitness test we basically did Abs. Now that is not something that I'm going to complain about since I feel like that is my biggest issue right now. I was still glad to see that clock til down to 6:30 am which meant that the workout was done for the day. Not to mention after having our fitness test today, my family and fiance went out for Mexican. Never tasted so good in my life and trust, I've had lots of Mexican. sooo yummy I think I eat a pound of chips along! Plus a Margarita!!! Yum!

I hope everyone has a great weekend. I will! Resting up for doing the workout on my own next week so will have to update you on me going alone. Gulp!

Boot Camp Day 4!!!!

Today is the day that I... JOGGED. Yup you read that right! I jogged. Was it a fast jog, no... but I'm not keeping count on that one. I was just amazed that I did it. Today is a short and sweet post but one filled with victory!

Day 3 for Boot Camp and new pain for me!

Well, we have reached mid way through the week. I have new soreness. Is that even a word? soreness. But I'm able to walk up stairs again without crying. Yay!! I'm so excited for Saturday. Why you ask??? Do you have fun wedding stuff to do??? well... No I get a whole day without Boot Camp!!! Yay. But all in all I have to say that today was a good day at the Bridal Boot Camp. I think that the other women there are amazing. They are so positive about my lack of abilities, always encouraging me. It is so helpful. I have to say I think, they are just nice people. There is no judging even if I come in dead last for everything. Trust me, it isn't easy on the ego to realize just how out of shape I am. But I'm hoping by doing this, I will be taking a huge leap towards healthy. I am not saying that I want to be a size 2 or something. Please, this girl has curves and frankly I love my curves. I don't want to look a boy. But what I want to be able to do go hiking with my fiance whenever he wants and not dread it. OK, truthfully I will probably always dread it. It being out in nature and everything. Or looking remotely how I want to look on my wedding day. I am not naive to think that by the end of these 4 weeks, I'm going to wake up and look the way that I want to look. But, I am already feeling better. More energy which I think is an amazing thing.
So we had to make 3 goals of what we want out of the Boot Camp and here are mine.

1. lose 8-10 pounds in 4 weeks.
2. jog a lap around the gym.
3. Not come in dead last just once!

I hope everyone has a great day!

The Honeymoon...

So it is two for one day on my blog!
The Honeymoon... I am hoping that someone might have a some thoughts on where we could go. We want to go on a honeymoon but I would really like to do it on a tight budget. I can't help but feel that since I don't have a job and we haven't really gotten the chance to save since the wedding is expensive and even with the help of others, we still need to be smart about booking our honeymoon. Thank God that they are helping us. I think I can dedicate a whole other post about the cost of the wedding. It is outrageous. But that is a side note.
Back to the Honeymoon. So we are thinking in the States. I'm thinking that Charleston, SC. Since it has both the beach like a half hour away and then city as well. We all know I am a city girl. I'm hoping that we will have enough to splurge on a really cool hotel. But we have got to be sensible about this. I mean yeah it would be so cool to go to Fiji or something crazy like that. But I firmly believe that we will have plenty of time for that. I know that we have already talked taking a big trip before the babies start to come. Yup that is right we have talked babies. I mean have you seen how cute my fiance is??? Who wouldn't want his babies. OK but again getting ahead of myself. Since that is so far down the road.
That trip... The Big Trip will be Europe. I'm hoping it will be Ireland, England, and Scotland. I lived in Ireland for a year and haven't had the chance to go back and that is something that I want my fiance to experience. Not to mention there are still friends there. I wish it could be sooner but we want to save up for that trip.
Back to the honeymoon, Does anyone have any suggestions for us? We want to keep it very reasonable. The only thing that I said no way to is camping. Not for my honeymoon. I love him very much but just this is one time, that camping is not an option for me. So let me know what you are thinking??? Any suggestions or thoughts???

Bridal BootCamp....Day Two.

Big White Dress.... At 5:00 this morning, Big White Dress. Today was day 2 of the boot camp. And I'm proud to say that I didn't feel like I wanted to die til a half hour in. The class is an hour long. I want to say only an hour but right now that hour doesn't feel like only an hour more like half a day. I have to say, that I'm so lucky to have my instructor. She seems really willing to work with me and my abilities. However, I am sore on top of sore. I am having difficulty walking up stairs if that gives you any idea of how sore I am. Today she had us do this move that I just looked at her and cracked up! It was this half push up and half jumping jack! Yeah right like I'm going to be able to do that. But she worked with me. So instead I was doing mountain climbs. But she told me that the soreness will continue but get better around week 3. For your information that is two more weeks! However I'm starting to look forward to the dress shopping after this is all said and done. Hopefully I will be able to step into a dress since at this time I can't lift my leg! Oh the pursuit of that perfect dress. On to day 3! Saturday has never looked so good!

BootCamp!

So Today marked the first day of Boot Camp. Aka Bridal kick my butt into the ground and make me want to cry boot camp day. I had to pull myself out of bed at 4:45 in the morning. Now, I have to say that I really didn't get that much sleep last night. I have a bit of food poisoning from Papa Murphy's. So that might have explained why I had such a hard morning but truthfully I think I'm just out of shape. Now I have been working out for the past year for about 2 or 3 times a week but now I realized it is nothing compared to what these other people have been doing. That hour was one that was outrageously hard. I was already sore by the time that 6:30 rolled around and frankly the thought of having another day like today terrifies me. I have 3 weeks and 4 days left of the boot camp. That is with a break for Thanksgiving Week. But trust me, there will be no break for me. I can't go through another first day, like today. So every time I turn off my alarm way too early in the morning. I say in my head. Big white dress. As I'm feeling totally useless with women who are running laps around me. I will say Big white dress. At the end of the boot camp my wedding coordinator (la madra) and I will be going down to bridal row and try to find a wedding dress for me. Because it is time to stop putting the whole dress bit off. Everything else is falling into place. So this must as well. So I hope that while the next four weeks will pass quickly but all so that I can make it. Since today was just the warm up! slightly scared but looking forward to the results.

THE DRESS

Let me give you a little background on this subject.
Ever since I was a little girl watching Disney Movies, I have believed that some day my prince will come and I will get married in a beautiful dress. Not to mention I will be stunning. However, as I have grown up and became aware of the world outside I realized that most often it is the skinny girls that get to believe that magic exists in this world. You see, I am plus size. And in America, I feel like by even saying that I open myself to ridicule and pointing of the fingers. For example, like this summer when I received a letter telling me that I should start to exercise a couple days of the week because well, I'm just too fat. Now, all I really wanted to say was I do exercises but I also enjoy pizza and cookies. Thank you very much! I'm not lazy. And that was from my own family. Not to mention those who don't think when they say things about fat people in their blogs, it will affect people who haven't even met them. Then they don't even receive a reprimand at work for it. Hello, Maire Claire, I am soooo pointing my finger that you.
Anyways, this is something that I have struggled with my whole life. So the fact that I have met this amazing man who doesn't care that I'm not a size 2. In fact, I think that he enjoys that I love pizza just as much as he does. He loves me regardless of the outside. So he put a ring on it...
However, that still brings me to the dress issue. I wish I was that girl who ran right now and found THE dress but I'm not. I'm freaked out. I am very worried that whatever dress I fall in love with will not return the favor by making me look like the princess in a fairytale more like the ugly stepsister. I want that though, I want to look like the princess. I want to have that fairytale wedding and life. So should I hide and pretend that none of this bothers me? That I should just be happy with the dress that fits? I mean it is only one day. But to me, this is THE DAY, I feel as though ever since I was little all I truly wanted to be was a wife. I'm very blessed that God has given me my fiance. I am positive there isn't a better guy out there. But I also don't want to shame him. Or to make his family think less of me because of my size. So I have put off the dress. Everyone is telling me that they can see that I have lost some weight but let me tell you. This isn't easy nor is it something that I enjoy talking about. It bothers me that I'm not more confident about this section of planning the wedding. I am trying to be hopefully that I will be able to find that one dress. The one that will look stunning on me no matter what size I am. Luckily my momma is amazing and has signed us up for a boot camp for the next 4 weeks. But I think after that I will have to bit the bullet and go dress shopping while praying that I will look like the bride I want to see in the mirror. That fairytale girl who got her prince and they will ride off into the sunset. So we will have to see what comes next for the dress.

6 months, 1 week and 5 days

Hello Everyone,

The first post... So let me caught you up on everything that we have accomplished. The wedding train is moving fast. Some times I feel as though it is moving to fast. My Fiance and I haven't really had a chance to celebrate the fact that we are even engaged. That is why, I am so excited for the upcoming party. It will give us all a chance to become more familiar with each others families and love ones. I even have friends coming from Ireland to meet Dan for the first time. But that is coming up and I still have to caught you up with what has already happened.
So my Fiance and I were looking for rings in August, and talking about a fall wedding in 2011. When my mom dropped a bomb on us. My brother, who is in the Navy is being deployed next year. Which set off a panic inside of me. Of course, I would want my brother there at my wedding. So I started off by calling my church. To talk about a wedding in April. Well, let me tell you. Easter is in April. So that was a no go! But luckily there was a date in May available. Now, I haven't ever really been a Spring time of person. I love fall, everything about fall. Pumpkins, apple cider and the leaves turning around. So what do you do... Well I will tell you what you do. You realize something... Life happens when you are busy making plans for something else.
So May it is.
So at this point in wedding planning we have done. And by the way when I say we, I mean my wedding coordinator who generally answers to Mom! But I digress... We have the church, reception spot, the photographer, and the flowers done. So I think that in the past 3 and half months we have done an amazing job.
But I still have a big thing that is filling me with dread... The dress.
But that will be the next post.