It has been awhile...

There is so much to caught you all up on!

The Holidays were a wonderful time of year for Dan and I. I don't know about you but Christmas is a time full of magic and wonder. At least that is how I felt as a child. This year... I was way more stressed then I should have been. But it gave me a chance to reflect on things. We need to be better at scheduling time for just us. We haven't really been good at that lately. It seems we are always on the go. Between wedding planning, family stuff,making sure we see our friends plus having a case of not feeling well. There has been no time for us. I long for him to tell me to put on a pretty dress and take me out for an evening to a musical at the Victoria Theatre. Or buy us tickets for a comedy club and we go and have a good laugh. Just us. Together... No wedding talk. No what do we have to get done this weekend. Just us-ness. I know it is my turn to plan the date night but sometimes, a girl just wants to be surprised. So does anyone have some suggestions on a pretty inexpensive dates for the two of us? I would love to completely blow his mind on a date or two because he deserves it! Because ummm I think he is pretty great!

So the first Boot Camp is done. (Has been for almost two full weeks) but we have decided to sign up for the next one! Can you believe that one? I am signed up for round two. In fact there is one right up to the day before the wedding. How great would that be. I would totally be in shape for my Honeymoon. Which since we have a lot planned it would be great to be in fighting shape so I can do anything we want to do. But I'm sure that you all are wondering how I did with my goals. If you have forgotten what they are let me remind you!

1. Lose 8-10 pounds.

2. Jog one lap

3. Not be in dead last.

Well I did lose 8 pounds. 4 inches around my waist, and 3 in my bust. Not bad for not curbing my food at all. yumm pizza... But I'm thinking that this time around I'm going to try and work on it. Look, I'm never going to be one of those salad girls. nibbing on lettuce while everyone one else chows down on pure yumminess. Jogging... I'm not at one lap yet. But I will be!!! I have been at least working on the jogging part of it. As far as dead last, well... see.... yeah I am still in dead last so I will keep that in my goals and work on it. It will come. I have at least this other boot camp to work on it.

As far as wedding. We have gotten a ton done. A ton!! Please picture me doing a happy dance because I am. So we have the dress done. The maid of honour dresses done. We have basically have all the big stuff done except for invitations. I know that the last thing my mom aka the wedding coordinator would want to do the week before and after Christmas is wedding stuff but I'm beyond grateful that we are able to knock stuff off that silly list of mine. So I know am only 112 items over due rather then 115. Yay!
I hope everyone had an amazing holiday and looking forward to the new year.

In the Land of Giants.

In the Land of Giants... I live my life in the land of giants. I always have. Well not always. See I was suppose to be the tall girl in the family. My sister was suppose to short. That is not the way it turned out.
Truthfully, being short isn't usually something that I worry about. Nor do I even think of it as a negative. However, I was looking at the picture from our Engagement party and we had one of the Bridal Party. And I noticed something. I am really short compared to the rest of the party. And not just a little shorter. But way way shorter. What is a girl to do... I am not really a heels type of a person. I am more flats and sneakers type. So I think I am going to ask my bridesmaids not to wear high heels. I really don't want to be that type of Bride that decided every inch of her bridesmaids look. I even read one blog that talked about how many brides ask their bridesmaids to even wear the same makeup. How is that possible?? How can you ask your friends all to wear the same makeup if they don't have the same skin tone, hair coloring and didn't you ask them because they are beautiful in their own right. Not to mention you love them for their individuality.
So far, all I ask is that the dress doesn't give anyone a show when they sit down. Because there really is not need for that. Even if we were not doing a church wedding. So do you think I am becoming one of those Brides? I'm even cool with them wearing a different dress but in the same color so it more fits their own bodies. I am not one of those girls that want her bridesmaids to look ugly so she looks better. I want them to feel and look beautiful. There are going to be a ton of pictures and I don't want anyone to be like, "oooh I hate that I looked like that"
So is asking them not to wear high heels being one of those brides? I'm not sure... Guess the only thing is to ask them... Here's hoping it goes well!

"She Said What!" Week 4 of Boot Camp.

I can't believe what I am about to type. It is week four of Boot Camp. The very last week. Can you believe that? Seems like just yesterday that I started this program feeling like I was about to die. So the question remains... Do we, aka the wedding coordinator and I sign up for another round? There are some pretty obvious minuses in the Boot Camp Two column. 1. I have to get up at 5:00 in the morning. 2. I have to be working out at 5:30 am. Which I'm pretty sure is something that should be illegal for me. 3. I whine about it a lot. Hence, every blog about the work outs. 4. I can no longer stay up past 9 in fear of being too tired to work out in the morning. I'm sure my fiance would like his fiance to be able to hang out with him longer at night. 5. Did I mention how early it is. So what is in the plus column you ask... well I will tell you. I walked into Tommy Hilfiger outlet and tried on one of his sweaters. Now before you say, "big deal, Tommy makes plus size clothing". It wasn't plus size. It was in the "normal" size section. The one that I haven't been able to fit in since College. OK, it was a little snug but give me another week or two of working out and it will be no problem.
Now I might hate getting up in the morning or getting to the gym at 5:20 to be working out at 5:30. But I am loving the results. I might hate the effort that I have to put in to get them. But I love seeing what I can fit into.
I have even found myself wishing that Boot Camp would go one more week before taking a break to really avoid all the Christmas weight. Not to mention help with trying on wedding dresses on the 23rd. Since that is coming up and coming up fast!!! Can you believe those words have just come out of my mouth? Wishing for one more week. I must be going insane. I know that I will never be that girl who jumps out of bed looking forward to working out and doing cardio. It just isn't me. I am more the type of girl who jumps out of bed for food. Pizza or hamburgers will get me out of bed at any point during the day. However, I will be the girl who will stumble about looking for something to wear at 5:00am to go and work out because I want to keep seeing the results. So no matter what the scale says on Friday or what the measurements read. I can feel a difference and that is what is keeping me going. That and a slice of pizza!

Ooh Your Sweet Sweet Buttercream. How I love Thee. And Some Big Secrets!!

Today finishes yet another week of Boot Camp. And for those who are keeping up with me, that means there is one week left in my Boot Camp. Then just one week before going dress shopping. Gulp!

We have managed to check off another big item from that massive list of things to do before the wedding this week! Which I'm very excited about! We have picked our cake. So those in the running were Dorothy Lane Market, The Cakery, The Cake Ladies, and Ele Cakes. Here is what I thought of all. Dorothy Lane Market: It was very good, I would say it would be my second choice. Then there was The Cakery. Which was ok, but I wasn't exactly impressed with their customer service. And the icing was too sugary for me. And I'm an icing girl. Then there was the Cake Ladies in Springboro. She was the best so far. She did something that no one else thought to do. she showed us how to cut the cake. If you think about it, where do you learn that particular skill? I didn't have it before, and when she said this is something people tend to worry about. It dawned on me... Oh yes, I would worry about that. Such a good point. And her cake was amazing, moist and the icing wasn't too sugary. Not to mention she only does two wedding cakes per week. I like that so much more then feeling like my cake was just one of the many that was getting cranked out by the factory. So we went with her. I even canceled our appointment with Ele Cakes. There just wasn't the need for it. We have found our cake maker. Now for what we picked for the flavors and the look of the cake. I'm afraid that is all you will get. For the rest will be closely guarded secret.



Speaking of secret... I have a big one with our transportation... It is done but I'm not telling what it is... I hope to surprise everyone! How I love surpises!!!

Easy Concept in Theory....

It seems like an easy concept in theory... You meet this amazing, wonderful guy and you both live happily ever after. But then comes not the baby in the baby carriage but the wedding planning. I always thought that I would be that girl. The one that goes slightly crazy about planning. The it is my day and no one else's, girl. Which might I add... I turned out not to be. I would just like everyone to enjoy themselves.
But I have realized that with planning the wedding to the man of my dreams comes a whole bunch of stress. Not to mention, Everyone seems to have an opinion on everything. Things from what your ushers should wear to who should go dress shopping with you. Heck, even my dentist has an opinion on how fast or slow our dating time was. When did we start telling people things that we know will be rude and not caring about how it makes others feel? OK, I know that I am more sensitive then most but when even your dentist is talking with you about your length of dating to the man you are now engaged too. When is enough of someone else opinion too much? And when did we stop censoring ourselves in the process. Now, I am not talking about those people, who have had sons and daughters marry whom are close friends to the family. Those opinions are not only welcomed but truly valued. Since there are some things that I nor my wedding coordinator aka Mom, have a clue about. Still it is stressful to feel like you are constantly defend your wedding and the choices you have made.
But on top of all that, there is still the normal every day life stuff still happening. That no matter how tired you are from Boot Camp or moving your fiance into his/our new apartment, you are still suppose to function in the real world even if all you want is one day in bed just for your self. Or the stupid fights that you have over end tables and wanting a sofa to make this apartment a home.

But it isn't all about me. It is about us, our families, blood and other wise, getting together to be with us as we decided to take this huge step. And there is no do overs, this is it for us. So I best try to hold in the stress and the biting remarks and enjoy the planning process. Since the next time, I plan on planning a wedding would be for my daughter. I think that I just need some serious pillow time. Lets hope that works to correct my negative Nancy attitude.

It is finally Friday!

The beeping of my alarm tells me that it is Friday and a very unhappy cat looks at me out of the corner of his eyes as if to say. That is for you, crazy. I have to say, I got out of bed with a bit more energy this morning then I have in the past week. Maybe it was the fact that tomorrow and Sunday, I get two whole day of boot camp freedom. Or perhaps it is because, My Fiance is moving into a new apartment today! He is finally going to be about 15 mins away. Maybe, just maybe the amount of time that we both spend on I-75 will be cut down. We are currently spending at least 6 hours a week on the stretch of road from Alex Blvd to UD. Now, I understand that isn't a lot and people do much more to spend time with their love ones. But for me, I am so over it! But Today is moving day.

However, Boot Camp is first. As my mom and I walk into the gym, I noticed the cones. My heart sank, oh crap, cardio! The first half wasn't bad this morning, we did core stuff and arms. Along with some legs. Then 6:00 am hits and it is cardio time. To start off the cardio section, we were to jog around the cones 3 times. I made it a grand total of once before my legs felt like they were on pure fire. It was the worst pain I've been in a while. Plus, I just bought new shoes so this should not be happening. Brand new shoes. So instead of doing what everyone else is doing, I am pulled out like the bad kid in the class with the dunce hat on my head. I'm walking while everyone else is jogging. Or I am backwards lunging while everyone else is frontwards lunging then jogging back. I will be honest, it makes me so frustrated! I don't like feeling like I can't do what everyone else is doing. Finally, the morning was over as I whimpered my way to the car.

I get to go home for a quick shower and a bit of a nap before meet my fiance at his new apartment that we will be living in after our marriage ceremony. Then I remember something... We are going to be living on the 3rd floor. OMG, I am already in pain from Boot Camp now moving time. Not to mention, I am so tried. You know that type of tired where your mind and eyes are awake but your body is just exhausted? That is where I was this at this morning. Sad but true. I tried to help as much as possible but truthfully, I wasn't much of a help as more of being in a bad mood and tired. But we get both his car and my car unloaded. Which is only the first trip we will make but it is a good start.

Now tomorrow we get to do it all over again. But this time it will be all the big stuff. However, when I feel the need to complain, I need to remind myself. He will be a total of 15 mins away at the most. Not to mention we don't have to touch a highway! What a great thought to end this Friday! Now it is 10:22 right now and I'm in my pjs sitting in bed. I am sore from everything I have done today but again just 15 mins. I say that is a great ending to a really long day.

Where do you belong?

Where do you belong? As children, we are suppose to be assured that we belong with our family. We are either spitting images of our mothers or fathers. Or some where in the family tree you can look at look at Aunts and Uncles and see someone who looks like you.

Before working out today, I was talking to one of the women and I said something about my mom being there as well and she said, "where is your mom?" So I pointed to my mom, this beautifully tall red head woman who doesn't look a thing like me. As I watched the woman's eyes grow wide and next came the comment I have heard since I was able to point out my mom. "That is your mom? I would have never guessed that one." Then my mom made a comment about how my fiance's family must be wondering where I come from. I'm not sure if they do or not but it is true, I don't look like my family.

In truth, this is something that I have always struggled with. As a really young child, I thought that I looked like my father's side of the family til one day when we were leaving church and the priest stops my Nana, who proudly introduced us as her grandchildren. He turned to my siblings and said "you both look just like your grandparents" and then just looked at me while my Nana quickly said "oh she looks like her mother's side of the family." To which, I looked up at her with a shocked expression because I don't look like my mother's family. My mother's family has red hair with height and thin frames. Suddenly, I was just like my brother and sister used to say. I was adopted. The weirdo who doesn't look like anyone. No chance of an identity through the family that I had thought I looked the most like. When I was really young, I took pride out of that fact. I looked like my daddy. No one else did. I was special. But at that moment all those years ago, I realized I wasn't special, just an outcast in a family of look a likes. The next day, my Nana approached me and said, "I could tell you were hurt that the priest didn't think you looked like us. But you really don't. Not that it is a bad thing." Which just made me want to cry, at 7 years old it is tough to feel like you are being pushed away from the grandparents you identified with. Not to mention that once again my sibling were the desired ones. Everyone claimed them as looking like their side of the family. After the week with my father's parents, we went to my mother's parents for a week with them. Where, of course, I asked my grandma, "Grandma, who do you think I look like?" Now my grandmother, who was the most amazing grandmother, turned and sharply said. "You look like you are my grandchild. You belong with this family." Thank god for that grandmother. Somehow she always knew the right thing to say to be able to be a band aid over a wound.

And still all these years later, I still don't look like my family. But I was looking a photo of my fiance and I, and maybe it is all those love feelings, so I could be wrong. But I think we look like we belong together. Not in the creepy they look like they are twins way. But in the way that we fit. We just fit together. We will be a family where we both belong. We have chosen to be this new family and I refuse to let either one of us ever feel like we aren't wanted. If/when we are blessed with children and there is an odd duck who maybe doesn't have the same hair color or the same built as the rest, it will be because they are special. Not the outcast of the family.