THE DRESS

Let me give you a little background on this subject.
Ever since I was a little girl watching Disney Movies, I have believed that some day my prince will come and I will get married in a beautiful dress. Not to mention I will be stunning. However, as I have grown up and became aware of the world outside I realized that most often it is the skinny girls that get to believe that magic exists in this world. You see, I am plus size. And in America, I feel like by even saying that I open myself to ridicule and pointing of the fingers. For example, like this summer when I received a letter telling me that I should start to exercise a couple days of the week because well, I'm just too fat. Now, all I really wanted to say was I do exercises but I also enjoy pizza and cookies. Thank you very much! I'm not lazy. And that was from my own family. Not to mention those who don't think when they say things about fat people in their blogs, it will affect people who haven't even met them. Then they don't even receive a reprimand at work for it. Hello, Maire Claire, I am soooo pointing my finger that you.
Anyways, this is something that I have struggled with my whole life. So the fact that I have met this amazing man who doesn't care that I'm not a size 2. In fact, I think that he enjoys that I love pizza just as much as he does. He loves me regardless of the outside. So he put a ring on it...
However, that still brings me to the dress issue. I wish I was that girl who ran right now and found THE dress but I'm not. I'm freaked out. I am very worried that whatever dress I fall in love with will not return the favor by making me look like the princess in a fairytale more like the ugly stepsister. I want that though, I want to look like the princess. I want to have that fairytale wedding and life. So should I hide and pretend that none of this bothers me? That I should just be happy with the dress that fits? I mean it is only one day. But to me, this is THE DAY, I feel as though ever since I was little all I truly wanted to be was a wife. I'm very blessed that God has given me my fiance. I am positive there isn't a better guy out there. But I also don't want to shame him. Or to make his family think less of me because of my size. So I have put off the dress. Everyone is telling me that they can see that I have lost some weight but let me tell you. This isn't easy nor is it something that I enjoy talking about. It bothers me that I'm not more confident about this section of planning the wedding. I am trying to be hopefully that I will be able to find that one dress. The one that will look stunning on me no matter what size I am. Luckily my momma is amazing and has signed us up for a boot camp for the next 4 weeks. But I think after that I will have to bit the bullet and go dress shopping while praying that I will look like the bride I want to see in the mirror. That fairytale girl who got her prince and they will ride off into the sunset. So we will have to see what comes next for the dress.